Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I'm Not Sure When I Ate Myself, But Obviously I Ate SOMEONE

I was very skinny growing up. I heard all the nicknames, Beanpole, Skeleton...whatever. Whenever I sat on someone's lap they'd exclaim about the hurt my bony butt produced. High school arrived and I had a relationship with a less-than spectacular boyfriend. I'd had boyfriends before, but he was different and had some strange hold on me. We were together for four years and the stress of the relationship caused me to be skinnier than ever. In high school I was 5'8" and 130 pounds.

This weight probably skewed my view of a healthy weight. College I was more like 160 and thought I was FAT. I had gained the Freshman 15 and more, even though I didn't go away to college until my junior year.

When I got married I was bigger than I wanted to be, but I was still at a healthy weight. When I had my first baby I still hadn't gained much.

By the time I had my second baby I was larger than I'd have liked to be. He nursed once he was born and that helped me lose weight more than I had before. He was a plump baby fed solely on breast milk which helped his mother be thinner.

I wanted a third child and the conception was difficult to say the least. Three years of trying and testing and disappointment every month is tough on the psyche. I gained and lost. Yo yoing was a new thing for me.

By the time I was pregnant with our third child I had gained more than I wanted to admit. Then I didn't gain anything. I lost weight and my doctor worried about the possibility of twins or a thyroid problem. Tests revealed there was one baby and there were no health issues causing the lack of weight gain. Truth told, it was because I was treating myself with healthier habits since I was pregnant.

Fast forward: I was relatively thin following the birth of my third child. She nursed for 18 months or so and that helped stem weight gain. When babies wean after nursing that long, however, it is difficult for the mother (well, at least, me) to adjust to the reduced demand in calories.

Next thing I knew I was 100 pounds overweight. And when you get to that point it's hard to feel hope to turn things around.

Today I am probably 150 pounds (at least) overweight.

I want to make a change. So here I write about my journey. From FAT to FIT.

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