Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Today, I Did Something Scary

I made an appointment and kept it. I wrote down my height, my weight, my issues. I allowed myself to be measured.

I stepped up and down on a 12-inch step for 3 minutes and was exhausted. Humiliating.

Then I paid a friend (who happens to be a personal trainer) to help me remember who I am.

I don't remember thin Heather. But I don't think in my head that I am as fat as I am. It's strange.

I catch a glimpse in a mirror and I think that I am some zombie that puffed up from eating people. I long to be the person I used to be. I've been smart, loving, caring, etc. I want to be all that and still someone who can take an active part in life. I'm stagnant.

People don't hire fat people for things that require movement. Or many other things. I'm pretty sure it's a fact. If I were thinner I would have more photography clients. I think. Just my opinion.

Next week I start my journey with someone who might actually kick my ass. Here's hoping!

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